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What is the greatest
myth of Adoption and Foster Care?
Responses from the Foster Care/Adoption Recruitment Survey
1. Adults cannot work
2. All foster care is short term and foster parents will suffer a huge loss when
kids are returned to an unsafe, unstable and unhealthy living environment.
3. All of the children are "bad"
4. All of the kids are sexually abused.
5. All the children are abused.
6. You don't have choices
7. Children are uncontrollable.
8. Children are ungrateful
9. Foster care is not adoption
10. Have to be rich or married.
11. How detailed and constant every year
the process is
12. I think everyone thinks these
children are terrible little criminals.
This is not true; they are children who
need to be taught what is right and
wrong. They need a healthy loving
environment.
13. I think the greatest misconception
is that it's hard for the children
because their foster family is not
always their final adoptive family.
14. It's a lot harder than it seems....
Even after you take the PRIDE courses.
15. It's more of a hassle than it's
worth
16. Love heals all wounds
17. Older children creating chaos and
destruction in the home
18. People become involved just for
money
19. Reputation, all the children are
problem children
20. That all children being placed in
foster care are difficult and not
capable of love.
21. That all foster children are
uncontrolled delinquents
22. That all foster homes are abusive
23. That all of the kids are
exceptionally bad or mentally impaired.
24. That all the children are badly
behaved
25. That all the children are problem
children and will bring a lot of drama
in the home.
26. That all the children have mental
problems and will wind up burning down
your house, stealing, etc.
27. That all the kids are "bad" and
"beyond help"
28. That all the kids are bad news and
that it is really difficult
29. That all you do is care and do not
show them love
30. That every case is going to end with
the happily ever after story line. It's
been my experience that not everything
comes out like in the fairytales, and
we, as adults need to try to prepare for
the unhappy endings that life sometimes
throws our way.
31. That foster care is short-term…it
has to be a permanent commitment to a
child
32. That foster parents are in it just
for the money
33. That foster parents aren't allowed
to adopt the children in their care.
34. That it is a permanent stay
35. That is an easy thing to do.
36. That is profitable or that all
foster parents are in it to make money
and all foster homes are bad.
37. That it is an easy process
38. That it isn't going to hurt the
child if they move around.
39. That it will pay your bills.
40. That it's easy and that anyone can
do it
41. That it's easy.
42. That most of the kids are bad.
43. That the child will be taken away
suddenly
44. That the children are "throw away"
children. Many people treat foster
children differently. I believe that is
wrong. These children DO have behavioral
problems but they those problems are
merely the reactions to the damage
caused by the adults in their
lives...INCLUDING the adults that are
supposed to be helping them...i.e. case
workers, foster parents, etc.
45. That the children are all bad
46. That the children are all
delinquents and out of control.
47. That the children are all drug
babies
48. That the children are hard to deal
with.
49. That the children are terrible and
will hurt you or your loved ones.
50. That the foster parent always adopts
the children.
51. That the kids are out of control
52. That the only kids in foster care
are teenagers who are violent
53. That these are throwaway children.
54. That these children all will have
some kind of deep problems that stem
from all types of abuse and that they
act with bad behavior.
55. That these children are more trouble
than they are worth.
56. That this child is going to love you
instantly
57. That we are in it for the money.
58. That what is portrayed on TV is
reality.
59. That you can earn a living doing
this.
60. That you cannot help the kid
61. That you can't let go.
62. That you don't have a choice of the
children you take into your home.
63. That you have absolutely no control
on what child is placed in your home
and/or what types of issues that child
may have.
64. That you have to have a really big
house . . .
65. That you make so much money, and get
to stay home...I am always broke, and am
on the go to medical and counseling
appointments all the time...then there
are ARD meetings, IEP's and school
stuff.
66. That you need to be a perfect parent
in order to do fostering
67. The children are dangerous to you or
other children.
68. The children are drug addicts or
retarded
69. The children are horrible to care
for
70. The children are violent or
impossible to parent
71. The kids are bad.
72. The process takes long.
73. There is not a need
74. That you have to be rich.
75. Understanding the needs of these
children
76. Where I live a lot of times people think that the Foster Parents are just in it to make money, not because the care about the children.
77. You could get any type of children to take care of.
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